Saying Goodbye
Honouring their wishes, navigating grief and managing the practical steps of a warm, loving farewell.
"I just want to be their daughter again, not their manager."
Saying goodbye is the hardest part of this entire journey. Whether it was expected after a long decline or happened suddenly, the weight of grief combined with the immediate logistics of a funeral and an estate can feel completely crushing.
In those final days, if you can, try to step back from the logistics and just be present. Once they are gone, there is a clear path of what needs to happen next. You don't have to figure it all out on day one.
When The Time Comes:
- Who to call first: If they pass away at home and it was expected, call their GP or palliative care nurse—not 000. If they are in a facility, the staff will guide you.
- Take your time: There is no rush to call the funeral director immediately. Take the time you need to sit with them, say goodbye, and gather your family.
- Notify Centrelink & My Aged Care: This is a difficult but necessary step to prevent overpayments that you'll later have to refund.
Navigating the Paperwork Mountain
After the funeral, the reality of executing the will and closing out their life sets in. It involves death certificates, probate, closing bank accounts, and cancelling utilities. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Take it one phone call and one form at a time. Be gentle with yourself—grief makes our brains foggy, and it is entirely normal to feel overwhelmed by simple tasks right now.
Frequently Asked Questions
The First Steps Farewell Checklist
When you're grieving even small tasks can feel impossible and heavy. This guide gives you a clear outline of what to do and which important documents to locate, helping you move through the early stages with a little more clarity and less mental overload.
- Who to notify (and in what order)
- Account closure tracker
- Funeral planning template
The Essential Aged Care Roadmap
If you don't have this, you'll spend hours on hold to My Aged Care not knowing what to ask. This 15-page guide gives you the exact scripts and checklists to get started.
Suggested Reading
More advice and guidance for this stage of the journey.
What to Do When They Pass: A Gentle Guide for the First 48 Hours
When the moment actually comes, the world seems to stop. Here is a gentle, step-by-step guide on what you actually need to do right now and what can wait.
Read article
Preparing for the SAS Assessment: A Guide for Australian Families
The acronyms alone are enough to make your head spin. Here is a plain-English breakdown of what the new SAS (Single Assessment System) is, how to prepare, and what to expect on the day.
Read article
The Ultimate Gift Guide: What to Buy When Your Aging Parent Moves to Residential Care
Moving into aged care is a massive transition. Here is a comprehensive, thoughtful guide to the most practical and comforting gifts to help their new room feel like home.
Read article