Saying Goodbye
Honouring their wishes, navigating grief and managing the practical steps of a warm, loving farewell.
"I just want to be their daughter again, not their manager."
Saying goodbye is the hardest part of this entire journey. Whether it was expected after a long decline or happened suddenly, the weight of grief combined with the immediate logistics of a funeral and an estate can feel completely crushing.
In those final days, if you can, try to step back from the logistics and just be present. Once they are gone, there is a clear path of what needs to happen next. You don't have to figure it all out on day one.
When The Time Comes:
- Who to call first: If they pass away at home call their GP or palliative care nurse or 000. If they are in a facility, the staff will guide you with their process.
- Take your time: There is no rush to call the funeral director immediately. Take the time you need to sit with them, say goodbye, and gather your family.
- Notify Centrelink & My Aged Care: This is a difficult but necessary step to prevent overpayments that you'll later have to refund.
Navigating the Paperwork Mountain
After the funeral, the reality of executing the will and closing out their life sets in. It involves death certificates, probate, closing bank accounts, and cancelling utilities. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Take it one phone call and one form at a time. Be gentle with yourself—grief makes our brains foggy, and it is entirely normal to feel overwhelmed by simple tasks right now.
Frequently Asked Questions
The First Steps Farewell Checklist
When you're grieving even small tasks can feel impossible and heavy. This guide gives you a clear outline of what to do and which important documents to locate, helping you move through the early stages with a little more clarity and less mental overload.
- Who to notify (and in what order)
- Account closure tracker
- Funeral planning template
The Essential Aged Care Roadmap
If you don't have this, you'll spend hours on hold to My Aged Care not knowing what to ask. This 15-page guide gives you the exact scripts and checklists to get started.
Suggested Reading
More advice and guidance for this stage of the journey.
What to Do When They Pass: A Gentle Guide for the First 48 Hours
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